Go out and Grab some balls!

Go out and Grab some balls!

Not what you think, I promise, but still very important…

I am always amazed at my girlfriends who tell me “I could never ask a guy out!” Really? Why not? What…are you still living in your grandmothers 1950’s fantasy of a house wife, Tupperware parties and trading the best meatloaf recipe?

I went out a few weeks ago with my gay. Note: Every self respecting woman, needs a gay. They love you no matter what, tell you, you look great when you don’t, and have the in on the best places to eat and drink. Any who, while out with my gay, I noticed the hot bartender. “I’m going to go give my number to the bartender.”, I say. “What?!”, replies my gay. Are you serious? He was shocked that I was being ballsy to ask a guy out? When did this happen that even the gays find it amazing that a woman was taking the dating bull by the horns?

I guess I can see where it is a bit daunting. There is the fear of rejection. Will he laugh in my face? Will he think I am being too forward, or worse off, desperate? Do I have food in my mouth? Will I say something stupid? Did I wear panties? Anything could go wrong. But you know what, it’s just talking to a stranger. You may never see this person again. Or you might even end up marrying them. But the fact still remains, it all starts off with one simple step.

So we as women expect guys to do this, but for some reason, we can’t get enough courage to make the first move. Well, I call shenanigans! Your challenge tonight is to go and talk to one complete stranger. Don’t go for the expectation of a relationship, go simply just to try something new. Who cares if he doesn’t get your number, or he does but never calls, or even ends up being gay. There is something said about being strong, smart, assertive and confident.

Now if you will excuse me, there is a pizza delivery boy that I simply must chat up!

Checklist and Martinis

Checklist and Martinis

I recently met up with an old friend of mine. It had been years since we got together and it was great to catch up. Of course, in the midst of martinis, work, family and friends conversations, relationships and sex finally came up. I sometimes wonder if men sit and scrutinize relationships with their friends as much as we do. I would like to think that there are a group of men, right now, somewhere in the world, held up in their man cave. Bottles of Budweiser, empty pizza cartons and O Magazines strewn around them, and one question on their mind, “Hey dog. Sometimes, do you feel like, you wanna find someone who really loves you?”

Ok, so maybe it wouldn’t happen like that, but it’s a cool idea. But we began to compare relationships. My friend, who is going through this whole “Positive Energy” kick, told me I should do the same. Well then I thought, my standards are pretty high. So we both came up with the idea of a checklist.  Most of us make a to-do list everyday. It’s a great way to see what needs to be done and to cross off your list items that are completed, not important or can be done at a later date. So why not do the same thing for relationships?

But in making this list, what should you put on it? What would be the most important priority? I immediately thought of a sense of humor. I would like to think that I am a pretty funny person, with a pretty twisted sense of humor. So I would need someone who can make me laugh. But is that really the first thing I should be thinking about? I mean, you can make me laugh, great. But can you pay for dinner? Would you beat me? Would you tell me about your past? Or would my friends and sorority sisters like you?

There are so many things that I can put on that list. It’s picking the important ones, the ones that are deal breakers, that matter. So here is your homework assignment. You are each to make a checklist, the catch, you can only have five items on that list. These are the no compromise items. No matter how attractive, how rich, how famous the person is, if they don’t have the five items, you get your crap and run.

Now I know I am not the best at following my own advice, but I promise I will try. But my list is pretty easy:

  1. Emotional available
  2. Professional
  3. Attractive
  4. Intelligent
  5. Keanu Reeves