Would You rather? Couples edition

During quarantine, I like much of the world, became obsessed with ways to pass the time. I am happy to report that I made only one loaf of bread. My fiancee and I did find ways to entertain ourselves by playing games. Whether it was board games or video games, it may the time stuck at home a bit bearable. I will also admit, that I come from a family that enjoys playing games and finds great joy in being competitive. There may or may not have been a Spades game circa ’78 where my mother and uncle didn’t talk for weeks.

Recently, getting into a normal routine post quarantine, I found myself missing the times my fiancee and I would play games. And it made me think of something fun that we could do. And then I remembered one of my favorite kids games… “Would You Rather.” I’m not gonna bore you with some concept of rules because it’s quite simple. You’re given two choices and you pick which one you’d rather do. And since I have a sex and dating blog, it only makes sense that my questions were a bit more adult in nature.

So if you are dying for a fun night in with your significant other, trying using the below questions. Feel free to let me know how you did. Oh, and for extra fun, make it a drinking game. If you wouldn’t do either question, take a shot!

Play on!

  1. Would you rather loudly orgasm every time you coughed, or cum every time you sneezed?
  2. Would you rather sleep with someone on the first date, or wait three months?
  3. Would you rather have unbelievable sex that lasts ten minutes or average sex that lasts an hour?
  4. Would you rather have sex with the lights on or off?
  5. Would you rather have sex on the kitchen table or in the shower?
  6. Would you rather accidentally send a naughty pic to your boss or your mom?
  7. Would you rather say your ex’s name during sex or your partner’s best friends name?
  8. Would you rather wrestle naked with your partner in jello or pudding?
  9. Would you rather use hot wax or ice cubes?
  10. Would you rather nipple sized fingers or finger sized nipples?
  11. Would you rather french kiss Betty White or Miley Cyrus?
  12. Would you rather walk in on your parents having sex or them walking in on you?
  13. Would you rather sweat a lot during sex or have horrible dry mouth?
  14. Would you rather pay for sex, or have someone pay you?
  15. Would you rather have your partner sleep with your best friend, or your enemy?
  16. Would you rather have a one night stand with someone who was super hot, or someone who was great in bed?
  17. Would you rather your partner be an ex-porn star or your sibling be an ex porn star?
  18. Would you rather be someone who cums too quickly or someone who never cums?
  19. Would you rather have sex with Rihanna or watch her have sex with your partner?
  20. Would you rather have sex with someone who was a biter or screamer?

Drunk and Dating

It is no surprise that I enjoy a good cocktail. Or cocktails. Or shots. Or whiskey. I enjoy drinking. The social aspect of it. The taste of it. The relaxation it brings after a hard day. I have found that at times, it can greatly improve a situation. Like a date. Be it good or bad, I can always relay on my friend Jameson or Patron, to either get me through a mindless hour of boredom, or ignite a game of “Truth or Dare”.

I also argue that I have made some truly questionable decisions while under the influence. For example, going on a date in the first place. Alcohol by nature, is actually a depressant. Did you know that? *Mind blown* All those times we thought that “Liquid Courage” was a thing, or at least that thing that got us dancing on a bar, it’s all more so in our heads. Because alcohol is really a downer. Who knew?

But I do argue that a good drink can make a date entertaining. Whether you imbibe or not, here are a few tips to enjoy a date with or without booze:

  • Stay Sober: I know you thought I’d jump into it with “Order a Pint.” But no. If you prefer to really get something deep and meaningful from your date, try not drinking. And for those of you who don’t drink in general, make sure to let your date know that. But don’t be a jerk or judge your date if they choose to have a cocktail. Or two!
  • It’s a Marathon, not a Sprint: Meaning, pace yourself. Don’t knock out two shots and a beer in the first hour. Especially if you find that you’re having a great time, spread out your cocktails. Sure, this may mean you are going at a slower pace, but a messy drunk is never fun. Especially on a first date.
  • Find a Common Drink: Here’s a great way to start a date, especially if going into it, you know your date enjoys drinking. Find out their favorite cocktail. If it’s also something you enjoy, maybe try a different version together. It can be a great conversation starter. And bonus if you both like it.
  • Make Suggestions: I hate gin! I just can’t get into it. But I appreciate trying new things. If your date has a similar apprehension and they are open to taking a walk on the wild side, why not offer a suggestion? Be sure to offer to pay if they don’t like it, so there’s no pressure in paying for something they don’t enjoy.
  • Get your Waiter/Bartender involved: This final tip is for the date that is going super well and bonus, there happens to be a cool waiter/bartender. Let them know that you’re having a great date so far and you need a drink made special for you and your date. Bartenders love to be creative and if you tip well, they can really make it a fun night. Shout out to my fellow bartenders who also make darn good matchmakers!
Smiling couple having drinks at bar

In the end, have fun and be safe. Be sure to drink tons of water and make sure your date has a safe way home. If you’re lucky you’ll be having another round of drinks on date #2! In the meantime, Cheers!

I got your back, boo!

Breakups are never easy. They aren’t fun, are emotionally taxing and just suck in general. Lucky for you, you have me. I’m a professional when it comes to being there for my friends. Oh, I’m a hot mess going through a breakup myself. But I have always had a great gift of having my friends back when they go through heartache. I guess it comes from my personal philosophy of giving to others what I’d like to receive. You know, that “Do unto others..” yada yada

All jokes aside, there are times that you have to be counselor, motivator and coach when a friend is going through a breakup. There are a few things that we all should consider when being a good shoulder to lean on.

First, remember that not all break ups are the same. Just like not all relationships are the same. I would think this is a given, but I am always amazed when I hear someone say “Well, like when I broke up with XYZ, he did the same thing…” No he didn’t, Stephanie! We all love and grieve differently. And in essence, a break up is a loss. So what you went through and processed emotions, will be different from that of your friend. So remember to understand and accept that.

Second, don’t give your friend a timeline for their own healing. Read that again, and also apply it to your own life. Sure, it may take a few days, months or dare I say, years to get over someone. But that is on your friends own emotional calendar. All you can do is be supportive and honest with them. Sure, sulking for a year or more might be much. But unless you know the deep inner workings of their romance or unless the breakup involves kids or a marriage, time may heal all wounds and that time may take a while. So it’s not up to us to give a friend a deadline to deal with their emotions. But do make them bathe after the second day.

Next, sometimes your two cents isn’t necessary. If you’re like me, when you go through a break up, you think of about a million things that you did wrong. And getting outside criticism isn’t always helpful. You know what I mean. The “I told you so’s!” Judgement is criticism disguised as advice. So don’t put your negative Nancy view of love onto someone who is hurting. And finally, be present. Being there for your friend during a breakup has nothing to do with your own heartache, or crappy job or family issues. Be aware that this is their time to heal and your time to listen. I don’t say this often, but, it’s not all about you. Be a lending hand, a strong support, a warm hug and most importantly, the friend who brings over the good Bourbon.