In the world of dating and dating advice, more often then not, you will find countless lists of what a woman wants in a man. Certain requirements that she desires in a perfect mate. I myself have made many of these lists. I actually wrote one that had 100 (you read that correct) 100 things I was looking for in my “Dream Man.” I also wrote that list my freshmen year of college. Over the years, the list has changed and thankfully, got shorter. It focuses on characteristics that I want in a partner with whom I want to build a future with. But it recently occurred to me, that maybe men have a similar list. And if so, would I make it on my partner’s list?
One of the first things to consider when making a list in hopes to find said qualities in a partner, is to ask yourself if those are qualities that you possess. In other words, if you want him to be someone who is close with their family, are you in fact, close with your family? And if you had to do a deep dive into your own soul, what are the ten things that you bring to a relationship? Or better yet, what are the ten things you need to do better in a relationship?
Another point to consider is why a particular item on your list is important? Is a man who is financially stable important to you, because you need to be better with handling money? And if that is the case, wouldn’t that be a point that your partner would address on his own list? “I like a woman who has poor credit and a minor addiction to shoes.” Ok, maybe not as dramatic, but you get the picture. If an item on your list is an important quality you are looking for, is it something that you can match or are an equal to?
At the end of the day, we want to look at our lists and think that we are asking for our truest desires. But take a moment and think about your own self with an honest and critical eye. Do you have all of the things that your partner dreams of? If not, maybe re-examine your list again. At the very least, narrow it down from 100 to maybe 30 things. There’s no way he can be kind, loving, between 6’0 and 6’4 and speak French. That’s just asking for too much.