I Messed Up

I Messed Up

During this unprecedented time of social distancing and self quarantine, you may have found like many of us, that you are spending more time with your partner. They say the true test of any couple is to see how well they travel together. I say, sharing the same space for days and not wanting to throw a pillow at them on an hourly basis after the third hand of UNO, is also just as important of a test.

But if you’re like me, this time has proven extra difficult because you have nothing but time. Time to think and re-think and question. Question not only yourself, but your role in the relationship and your partners intent. True story: I messed up. I’m not proud to admit that, but I did. Months ago I did something that made my partner question and doubt my love. I did not cheat on him with another man, but I did break his trust. During the subsequent months, we have tried to move past it. And I’m not gonna lie, it’s been hard AF.

When you break the trust of someone you love, the process to regain it is a constant challenge and battle. It’s one that requires work on BOTH ends. That work revolves around two key factors, trust and time. If you’re like me and you were the person who broke that line of trust, you have to understand that the path to moving on is going to take time. And then more time….and perhaps a bit more time after that. It’s not a quick fix, and it’s not something that can be erased over night. So during this time, you have to sit and wait and be patient. You have to be PATIENT. (As an only child, this is the most difficult thing for me to do in the world!)

Standing away from each other

For those who were hurt, it’s going to take trust. It seems ironic that the thing that was broken, is the one thing that you will need to relay on the most. You will need to come to a new level of trust that makes you work together on the issue. Notice I said “together”. As much as the transgression might have been done by one person, the two of you have to work in tandem in order to move on. A big part of that is getting to a point where you begin to trust your partner is making an effort to make amends and move on. This level of trust is not easy to come by and will take…time.

In the end, this is a long and winding road that will involve both parties putting in serious work. It involves no judgement, releasing the past, looking forward to the future and most of all, forgiveness. This will not be easy, but if the relationship is worth it, if your partner is worth it, anything is worth the fight.