In this modern dating age of dating apps and websites, communication is often sped up or worse, muddy at best. Sarcasm doesn’t translate and sincerity is often laughed at. And when chatting for one day with a match can sometimes feel like two or three, people often throw out the rules of conventional conversation. Enter “The Dick Pic”.

I’m not sure when, how or why this became a thing, but it did. And I fear that as long as we have smart phones, there will be dumb guys who will send photos of their junk. Case in point. I matched with a cool guy on Tinder and we were chatting for several days. Due to work, we hadn’t had a chance to meet up yet, but we were working our way to that point. Our conversations were always simple and harmless. “How was work?” “Did you watch the game?” “What scotch were you drinking last night?”

We shared Snapchat screen names and our snaps were pretty mild. To be honest, they were mostly chats and no pics. So color me surprise one day when he asked me to send a pic from work. I happen to look AH-MAY-ZING that day, so I was happy to send one. I replied to him that I was curious if he still had his beard, since in some of his pics he has a beard and in others, he does not. That’s when it happened. Unprovoked, unannounced, unwanted, he sent me a picture of his erect Johnson in his boxer shorts.

I took a moment to examine what I may have said that may have caused him to think “You know what, she may have asked about my beard but what she REALLY wants to see is this!” I didn’t reply to his snap and about a minute later he messaged asking “Not impressed?” Truthfully, no. I’m not impressed that you think that’s appealing. That your response to a legitimate question was to show off your member. I’m not impressed that you would think that I was the kind of women who WOULD find that impressive. No sir, I was not impressed at all. I replied “I’m curious what made you think I wanted to see a pic of your dick?” Silence. I gave him about five minutes to have the courage to reply. Then I blocked him on all social media.

I was talking to a guy friend of mine and we had a big laugh about it. “I have never wanted or sent a picture of my dick to a girl. Why do guys do that?”, he said. “More importantly…” , I started to say, then we both finished the same thought “WHAT GIRL WANTS TO SEE THAT?” But seriously, who is the woman who sees a random dick pic and thinks “I at least want to have coffee with this guy.” Or maybe “This will be a funny story to tell our grandkids one day.”

Rather than go into long details on why this is so off putting to women, guys, might I make a suggestion. If you really do have any desire to sleep with us, and if you truly want that desire to be mutual, might we first start with a conversation that happens in public? And perhaps, I don’t know, leave your dick in your pants? I’m sure there are women who go for that kind of stuff. And to you sexpots I say BRAVO. But for my piece of mind, my dating sanity and the risk of me not literally laughing out loud and telling my girlfriends about you, if you want to date me, leave the pics in your own damn phone.