I am not ashamed to admit that I see a therapist. Often. I think more people should. But that’s not what this post is about. After going through all of my basic history and running my therapist up to speed about my life, I proceeded to spend about 10 minutes talking about my ex. You know the one. The one that plays on an endless loop of mental memories of good times, bad times and a million “What If’s”.
Then I had a moment of, well honestly..F*&%ING STOP! What we do when we gravitate to the past or we hold on to those amazing former memories, is feel sad that we don’t have that. But as I am reminded by my mother almost on weekly basis, we actually have to be thankful for them. There is something to learn about the loss of love. There is something to be grateful for it. And more importantly, there is something that you need to identify in order to not make the same mistakes again.
Even as I write this, I have to laugh. It’s probably one of the dating lessons that I find the hardest even at my age to really learn. But that’s the beauty about lessons. Just like when you were a kid at school, it took you a while to learn something. You had to practice. There were reviews. Trial and Error. Maybe a practice test.
So just think of those pasts heartbreaks as the ultimate practice test. When the test is over, good or bad, there’s nothing more you can do. And sure, for you snooty little “A” students who would do extra credit just to get two more points, ok, good for you! For the rest of us “C” students, we know. That ‘ish was done. And though we may have wished it went better, we just have to hope that the next test gives us a better result.
The next test in your life may be your “A”. It may be easier than the others. And you may find that this is the one, you were meant to work so hard to have and learn from, in your life.