Letting Go- Girl Move On!

Letting Go- Girl Move On!

I am not ashamed to admit that I see a therapist. Often. I think more people should. But that’s not what this post is about. After going through all of my basic history and running my therapist up to speed about my life, I proceeded to spend about 10 minutes talking about my ex. You know the one. The one that plays on an endless loop of mental memories of good times, bad times and a million “What If’s”.

Then I had a moment of, well honestly..F*&%ING STOP! What we do when we gravitate to the past or we hold on to those amazing former memories, is feel sad that we don’t have that. But as I am reminded by my mother almost on weekly basis, we actually have to be thankful for them. There is something to learn about the loss of love. There is something to be grateful for it. And more importantly, there is something that you need to identify in order to not make the same mistakes again.

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Even as I write this, I have to laugh. It’s probably one of the dating lessons that I find the hardest even at my age to really learn. But that’s the beauty about lessons. Just like when you were a kid at school, it took you a while to learn something. You had to practice. There were reviews. Trial and Error. Maybe a practice test.

So just think of those pasts heartbreaks as the ultimate practice test. When the test is over, good or bad, there’s nothing more you can do. And sure, for you snooty little “A” students who would do extra credit just to get two more points, ok, good for you! For the rest of us “C” students, we know. That ‘ish was done. And though we may have wished it went better, we just have to hope that the next test gives us a better result.

The next test in your life may be your “A”. It may be easier than the others. And you may find that this is the one, you were meant to work so hard to have  and learn from, in your life.

Cuffing Season

Cuffing Season

If you’re like me, you have happily shed your two piece of the Summer with cozy sweaters and boots. Fall is here, and so is cuffing season. If you are not familiar with the term, let me, and Urban Dictionary help shed a little light on the subject. “Cuffing Season” is the time of year, usually after Halloween and shortly before Valentine’s Day, where singles begin the sometimes depressing but highly determined process to couple up. And why, you might ask? When one realizes that football is mid season, and the holidays are looming by, you can only find comfort in, well..others.

I never took much thought to the idea that a certain time period could make someone NEED to be “cuffed” up. Then again, Wedding Season makes me want to sleep with every cute Best Man I lay eyes on. But Fall of 2018 has found my Tinder and Bumble profile more active than before. Exes from my past begin to enter the picture and I go on dates, simply because I have seen everything in my Netflix que. In other words, holy crap…I kinda want to be cuffed.

My weekends were mostly spent laying poolside, drinking Jameson and being as inappropriate as possible. But now that I found myself locked in my comfy apartment, with candles and good books, my weekend is about trying out new recipes. And who wants to do that alone. I’ve always been a scotch lover and have recently taken my love of cigars to the next level. One night, while enjoying  a delicious pair of Whisky and a Robusto I thought “I kinda wish I had someone to do this with.” And this is the foundation of Cuffing Season.

 

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It’s not so much that you are trying to find Mr Right, or even Mr Right Now. People use this time to move during the seasons as a transitional period. Not to get all hippie and a little Witchy on you, but there is something to be said about the different phases of the moon and seasons. We all know when a full moon occurs. People start acting weird, strange things seem almost commonplace, and most just need no explanation. So rather than the occasional New Moon, we have an entire season full of holidays, Hallmark movies and Summertime regrets that parade in our face just begging to be confronted.

So what do you, or I, do when this happens? Why not embrace it? Rather than going out and treating this time of year as the depressing march to New Years, how about taking a different approach to dating. You’re not trying to get married (if you are and that’s your goal, by all means, do that). Instead, enjoy the time in, make new friends, try new things, make small goals and stick by them. And rather than thinking every guy is a jerk and every girl is a psycho, use this time to be “cautiously optimistic”. Besides, no wants wants to be alone seconds before Midnight on New Years Eve.