F%&*boy Follies

How are we in 2018 and f$%&boys still exist? Rather, why put up with it? But more so, why DO they exist? No but seriously, how are we here?

I know that the one million red flags of my recent follies would have me here, writing this post. He’s 25, has a job (and a side hustle…because that’s a thing now), funny, cute, good dancer and loves to communicate mostly through texts. One such text came at 10:30 pm, “What u doin?” Well, honestly, in bed watching South Park. My answer was to give him an indication of a few things. 1) At this hour, even if you knocked on my door with flowers, I’m not answering. And 2) I get a text from you for the first time in days at 10:30pm? Yeaaaa, I’m not that dumb…or blonde.



Another fun late text was to meet him at a strip club…at 3 am. Now, full disclosure, I do love going to a good strip club. Especially when you’re with your man, there’s nothing hotter than to see him in awe that YOU might be enjoying yourself as much he is. But at 3 am, me and my do-rag are having a serious conversation with my pillow. I’m not sure if this puts him in true f$%&boy status or that I’m just old. Actually now that I think about it, 29 year old Desiree would have done the same thing.

The class of boy that finds these games appealing are the kind that I have very little patience for. You want to text inconsistently, come over and eat my food, be totally oblivious that I’m not enjoying my self when we have sex, oh, and sleep in a twin bed. A few dates in, and I’m already bored. But my boredom has me wondering if he would make a good squeaky play toy.

You ever notice how dogs love squeaky toys, not so much for the toy but the sound it makes? Don’t worry, I’m not going to squeeze him till he squeaks. But all that toy provides is mindless distraction. And I think every once in a while, we need a mindless distraction. Don’t get hurt, don’t invest energy, recognize they will never change and play the game. Does this make you a F$%&girl? *GASP* No. It just gives you a shiny new toy that you get to enjoy, until the next one comes along.

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