This past week one of my oldest and dearest friends came to visit me. There was A LOT of tequila. There was also a mountain of fun, tons of laughter and me schooling her on something I like to call “Dating Karma”. For me “Dating Karma” is that simple belief that the good things you do in your dating life, will manifest fully in your love life. Basically, if you’re a dick or psycho slut in your dating life, that’s the kind of love that you will attract.
So picture two attractive chocolate girls in our own personal heaven- a bar of loud, funny white guys…most of them on vacation. After a few shots and several circles around the bar, we found some cute eye candy. There was friendly banter, mutual admiration of tattoos and after about 20 mins, the two gents decided to sit with us. As the night progressed, it was clear they were pretty interested. Cut to, serious flirting, thigh rubbing and talk of having a REAL fun evening at my apartment.
However, before anything would progress, we found out….they were BOTH married. Now, I am in no way ashamed to admit that 29 year old me would have had no problem with this. The dude wasn’t from around here, he was flying out in the morning and I’m sure there’s a cheating rule that states “Different time zone/area code-fair game.” But 39 year old me, has been through and seen a lot. Mainly as a direct relation to 29 year old me. As I weighed the pros and cons while placed firmly close to his smokin hot bod, I had to wonder if “Dating Karma” was a real thing.
I am happy to report that nothing happen. We were both very good girls and they both made it home safely to their wives. I did wake up the next morning questioning my own dating karma. So if we are to believe that you get what you put out, then why am I single? And more importantly, why was attracting married men, loser f*&^boys, emotionally unavailable exes?
I figure that I had been putting out some darn good dating karma. I hadn’t strung any guys along. I ended toxic relationships. My number of one night stands had drastically decreased. And I was no longer using men for sport. Yet, karma had some other plans for me. Single for the past two years. If I look at my last two relationships; both long distance and both where the guy cheated; I seriously had some questions for Karma.
That bitch saw me being attentive, loyal and devoted. Yet they both ended in massively crappy ways. And since then, it’s been a string of lack luster, minor flights of fancy. So why was I giving Karma so much power? Because I believe as I still do, in the power of getting what you give. Maybe this is all some twisted game for her. Or she is trying to teach me that patience (which I lack) is a virtue. Either way, I have to remind myself that even though I woke up in bed alone the next morning, I hadn’t broken up any happy home. And hell, that’s got to be good for something, right?