The Last Great….

The Last Great….

After a chain of recent hilarious events, I’ve found myself thinking a lot of “The Last Great”…

When you look back at your dating life….the good, the bad, or potentially questionable, if you’re like me, there are a few bright shining moments. I like to call them “The Last Great…”. Whether it was the last great kiss, date, dance or romance, the collection of ray of hopeful sunshine moments from your dating history is enough to remind us all, that  your future romance is out there. And maybe more “Last Greats…” will lead to your “First Real…”.

“The Last Great Kiss”

I wrote an article about this particular kiss a while back. A first date, which lead to a walk around my lovely little hometown, and a kiss that seemed to last forever. What made it “The Last Great Kiss” was simple, I haven’t felt that kind of connection since that kiss. And I’m not talking about a sexual connection, it was something deeper than that. And it felt REAL. It’s funny how we take for granted things that aren’t in front of us, or are on our cell phones and laptops. I mean a connection where it’s just you and the person in front of you. And even if that moment never turns into a relationship, “The Last Great Kiss” was a real moment, and one I will always enjoy.

“The Last Great Morning”

I love New Orleans. I have a few sad but mostly amazing memories there. One of my favorite memories, was “The Last Great Morning” I had with a guy I dated a few years back. We got to sleep in late, something I rarely ever do. It was one of those rainy mornings in NOLA and after a pretty late night the evening before, all I needed was coffee. What I got, was a living room filed with small little white lights, John Coltrane playing in the background and freshly pressed coffee. Oh, did I mention my BF at the time was in the kitchen making the most amazing cheese crepes. We spent the rest of the morning listening to jazz, cuddled on the couch, with the NOLA rain in the background. I haven’t had another morning like that since…

 

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“The Last Great Phone Call”

This is going to seem like a random one, but hear me out. Years ago, before Snapchat and FaceTime, and wayyyyyyy before cell phones and Instant Messaging, guys and girls would spend hours on the phone talking. It’s how you knew you had a real connection and it’s also how you knew a guy really liked you. Fast forward to about 30 years later and those days are long gone. Even I have to admit, I’m not a fan of long phone calls and I’d much rather text than talk, but this guy got me on a special evening. And our phone call lasted 3 hours. We both had to work the next morning but that didn’t seem to bother either of us. We talked about everything under the sun and daydreamed about cozy warm cabins in the North Georgia mountains. We had a great first/only date which also provided some lovely moments. Every once in a while, I think about that call. I wonder what a night in the mountains would be like with a handsome, motorcycle riding, blog writing gentleman who doesn’t drink. Well, maybe my charm, a fireplace and a 30 year old scotch can change that.

“The Last Great Sex”

Let’s be honest, this is the one you all came here for. And it’s the one I’ve had the hardest time trying to pin down. Mainly because there are several gents who will read this thinking it’s them. For all of you curious handsome guys, I do apologize. Originally, I wanted to write this entire article about “The Last Great Sex” and though there has been some great, good, amazing sex in the past few years, I pondered something else. Am I really talking about the last great sex act or something more? And to be honest, I AM talking about something more. I’ve spoken about connection a few times in this article and I really feel that’s what “The Last Great Sex” is about…Connection.  Great sex can be great because of chemistry, music, carnal matching, the perfect thread count and countless other reasons. And while you know I am never one to NOT gossip about great sex, if what I am speaking on is the “The Last Great Sexual Connection”, then my dear reader, I have to be honest…it hasn’t happened yet.

So with that said, and to whomever is reading this pondering if it WAS him, take comfort in knowing…you gave me a great reference point for finding my “The Last Great”. And check back again kiddlets, because I’m sure it will be a great story to tell!

Does the “Dream Guy” exist?

Does the “Dream Guy” exist?

I know….the title is hefty. It’s also equal parts fantasy and bullshit. B.S. because you don’t ever hear guys pinning for the “Dream Girl”. And I’m not here to judge that societal norm. I’m here to talk about my “Dream Guy”, and to ask the age old question….does he really exist? No really…does he?

As I often do, I sit here with a great scotch, post a slew of bad dating decisions to bring you these nuggets of wisdom. The “Dream Guy” or “Girl” isn’t just a dream…they are the ideal. They are the fantasy that you hold up to every random bar hookup and questionable Tinder match. For me, my dream guy is equal parts Chris D’Elia, Bill Clinton, Idris Elba and Mr Darcy from “Pride & Prejudice”. Do you see a trend? No! That’s why he’s a “Dream Guy”. Not gonna lie…sprinkle a bit of Christian Grey and I may marry him on the spot.

So what makes him a dream? What makes him the fantasy that so far my reality has not been able to create? It’s simple. The “Dream Guy” is a blend of fantasy, unrealistic expectations, tequila induced daydreams and hollywood cliches…and I am 100% in the hunt for him and in NO way ashamed to admit that.

For me there are some serious aspects of the “Dream Guy” that from now on, I will no longer entertain a half hearted dating life, in order to pass the time until his arrival.

My “Dream Guy” in a nutshell:

  • is family guy. He loves his family and friends and their input means the world to him. He’s not a mama’s boy, but the woman who truly holds his heart is her.
  • is a lover of all things libations. I understand there are men who don’t drink. And I respect that. I also hope that you respect, that on our first date, if you can’t navigate yourself around a scotch menu, then you have no purpose for me.
  • is a class clown. The kiss may be the first physical thing that intrigues me about a guy, but making me laugh is the first thing that will lead to said kiss. And at the end of the day, 30 years from now, I want you to make me laugh just like you did on our first date.
  • is a protector. He is able to stand up for me and stand by me. The guy who can defend the occasional glance when people question an interracial couple, but who can also hold me after a 12 hour day at work when I feel like a failure.
  • is an amazing cook. You want to get me naked? Make a steak, add a bottle of wine and Coltrane, and I will meet you in the bedroom in an hour.
  • is emotionally available. I can’t believe I have to say this, but um yeah, don’t play with my emotions. I don’t want to be your friend, I don’t want to just screw you, and I don’t want to be your little secret. Bare your fucked up soul and I will do the same. But more importantly, understand that everyone has baggage. But your baggage doesn’t define you.
  • is self assured. Meaning he knows what he wants. He understands his flaws and works hard to do better. Why is this important? Because if I am doing the same, and so should you.
  • and finally he is passionate. And I’m not talking about earth shaking sex. I mean, kisses that lasts minutes. Glances from across the room that make us both blush. Touches that feel warm and tingle from my toes and all up my spine. He is a fire that burns and one that I will move heaven and earth to be near, because he would destroy mountains to be near mine.