Have Passport, will Travel!

Not many people think of comedic actor, Bill Murray as a wise sage, but I do. He once said “If you have someone you think is the one, take them and travel around the world. Buy a plane ticket for the two of you and travel all over the world, to places that are hard to reach and hard to get out of. And when you land at JFK and you’re still in love with that person, get married.”

For someone like me who has done a great deal of traveling and loves it as much as I do, finding someone to share those experiences with, is a big deal. And the older I get, and the more Wanderlust that settles into my soul, an ideal travel buddy is of utmost importance. If you have never traveled with your significant other, I highly recommend it. I have done several trips, some small, some major with someone I was involved with. My experiences have ranged from slightly stressed, enjoyable, fun and non-eventful.

picture

But to me, the perfect travel buddy is someone who has the same sense of adventure as you. Perhaps you like different cultures and you want to educate your partner about them. Maybe you both love trying new foods, and the idea of Puffer Fish sushi doesn’t scare you as much as it would to the average human. Or maybe waking up at an ungodly hour, just to hike up a Hawaiian peak to watch the most glorious sunrise, is something that you dream of. In a perfect world, you want someone you can fly coach with, or at the very least, join the Mile High Club. I’ve actually always wanted to pack a suitcase, go to the airport with my significant other and buy a ticket right then and there. Destination TBD!

However you choose to travel, the moral of the story is…GO! There is too much to see and do in this world. There are also great destinations in your own state, so explore them. What matters, is taking the time and the pleasurable risk, to step out of your comfort zone and experience new things with someone you care about. You will be surprised what you learn about each other and you will enjoy the memories that you both will share. In the meantime, my suitcase, passport and I are anxiously awaiting the right guy to travel to Bali with. Bonus if you enjoy moonlit swims in the nude!

Why Am I Single?

The second most popular question I am asked after “Why I don’t have kids?” is, “Why am I single?” For the longest time, I use to hate this question. And as much as I want to say that I have grown since the start of this blog, that would be somewhat of a lie. I still hate the question, however, I have a different perspective on it.

“Why am I single?” Before, my first reaction would be immediately to blame all of the men, or lack thereof, around me. I would list about 100 reasons why THEY aren’t the right match for me. How THEY haven’t fit my mold. And how THEY just aren’t around. Then some years passed, a few serious relationships here and there resulted in my new train of thought. And to be honest, I think this applies to not only me, but a lot of you.

“Why am I single?” has nothing to do with THEM and almost everything to do with…ME. Now, the first time I realized this, I flat out denied it. I mean, gurl, you ARE amazing. But you aren’t the persona you show the world. THAT girl goes on dates, is larger than life, can do four shots of tequila in an hour and sing half of the Jay Z catalog. But that girl is also vulnerable, insecure, a dreamer who is also her worst critic and secretly adores the role of the 50’s housewife. (That might be another post for another day)

Old Lady Cupid

 

In another words, what I show the world is only a part of the complicated woman that makes me…me. Chris Rock did a bit in his “Bigger and Blacker” comedy special where he says, when you go on a date with a woman, you aren’t dating her, you’re dating her representative. And that’s 100% true. Don’t worry guys, the same applies to you. But in my case, you go on a date with me and you are dating my rep, my concierge, my trainer, my guru and my id. You don’t see Desiree. Desiree comes out around month 4 of a relationship, which is a very crucial time. Around the fourth month of seriously dating, experts say, this is the time where couples decide whether this person is worth committing to long term. When you think about that, it really makes sense. You have a honeymoon period, and after that period, the truth starts to come out.

“Why am I single?” because I don’t let a lot of men see my truth. Now I’m not going to come right out and bare my naked soul over our coffee date, but what I WILL do, is let down my guard a bit. I will promise to understand that the Desiree they first see is the hyperbole of a great woman, but isn’t the real me. That would be exhausting. And to be honest, a lot of times, it is. And I will no longer look at that question as one that is cringe inducing, rather I will tackle it with a new approach…keep it simple, sweetheart!

Resolutions vs Promises

My first post of 2018 has me doing something that I love…watching football. As with every New Year, people are faced with the task of creating a New Years Resolution. A resolution that in most cases, are broken or cast aside by January 10th. But instead, I like that at this moment I am doing two things that I love, watching football and writing. At the end of the day, I’d rather make a promise versus a resolution. And I want that promise to be sincere and to myself, for me, and no one else.

dont-promise-when-your-happy-motivational-love-life-quote-saying-pics-e1484002249129

So here are my promises for 2018:

  • I promise that I will work hard on finding joy in the little things.
  • I promise to eat every carb that I want and do every shot that I desire, and not feel guilty about it.
  • I promise to not be so hard on myself. I mean, you’re trying and that’s all that matters.
  • I promise to remember what the badass Jen Sincero said: “You have to change your thinking first and then the evidence appears, not the other way around.”
  • And finally, I’m not going to promise you a “New Year/New You” that’s a cliche. But I will promise you are going to have some highs and lows, but you are going to make it through, like you always have…like you always will. Because I promise…you’re a bad ass!

xoxo

Desiree