Winter, Coffee and Sweatshirts

My ex called and asked what I was doing. Ok, I should probably back this story up about a week…or maybe a month. I dated a guy three years ago. And, well, we all have that ONE. The one you can’t shake. It’s kind of like that old college sweatshirt that you swear you will get rid of. But no matter how many times you move or boxes you may store it in, when you need it, or don’t realize you need it, it shows up.

He’s my old college sweatshirt. Or more accurately, my 13 year old sorority formal long sleeve t-shirt. A shirt that proudly use to fit me like a glove, but now, slightly swallows me whole. It has holes in the sleeves, screen printing that is fading and is no longer the bright green it use to be. But I love that sweatshirt and I would never get rid of it, no matter what.

Now I promise, this post has a point. It really has nothing to do with the sweatshirt. Three years after our break up and more than a year from having seen each other last, I find myself wrapped in this comfortable space that I remember and loved so much. So today, my ex called. It’s not the first time and we had a lovely chat. We actually plan on an upcoming visit together.

He starts off the conversation by asking “What are you up to?” And not in the loaded “What are you up to and what panties do you have on?” kind of way. I laugh because what I was doing was truly making me happy. I told him that I was home alone, enjoying the slightly chilly day, wrapped in a blanket, drinking a delicious cup of coffee, binge watching “Sex in the City”. After we laughed at how cliche that was, and he admitted that it did in fact sound like a nice way to spend a day, I began to think to myself, that it really was.


I was enjoying a “Netflix and Chill” type of date….but with myself. And to be honest, I couldn’t have been happier. I was in my favorite pajamas, my big fluffy socks, watching one of my favorite SITN episodes with the yummiest cup of coffee. And in that moment I realized, just how important it is to enjoy a date with just ME.

I mean, I’m a classy chick that could take me out to a nice steak dinner if I wanted to. But I loved my quiet, simple morning. Often we get so caught up in the pressures of dating because we factor in pleasing or coming across pleasing to the other person. But why can’t we do what we enjoy simply for our own pleasure?

I have to confess, it’s a novel idea that even I was unfamiliar with. The beauty of spending quality time with yourself. Doing the things I love, watching what I love, pursuing the passions that I enjoy, all for my OWN pleasure. It isn’t a reminder that I’m alone, or that others are in relationships or even that I may come across as antisocial. It’s a reminder that the things I love, make up who I am, and that is a pretty amazing creature who…bonus….any man would be lucky to have. But, if that man isn’t around in the immediate future, it’s ok.

I have my coffee and tv shows, my wonderful family and amazing friends, my health and my sanity and the passions that make me…me. And for now, at this very moment, that makes me happy.

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