My mom and step dad are pretty cool. That’s actually an understatement. They have been together for almost 20 years and have been married for 5. Most of their relationship was long distance and they made it work. My parents are flippin cool.
One night the topic of saying “I love you” came up and I was reminded of something I really miss. Sitting down and talking to my parents. No tv, no phone, no text, no games, just an evening in the living room and a great conversation. My stepdads theory was, that you should never say “I love you” to a person you don’t intend to marry. My mother and I were quick to disagree. “I have loved other men before you and said ‘I love you’ and meant it, but never married them.” my mom said. And I had to agree with her.
But my stepdad felt very strong about this. “People say ‘I love you’ sometimes too soon just because they think it’s what the other person wants to hear” he said. Hmmm. This is true. I think at some point in our lives, we have all been guilty of this. But my stepdads theory brought up an interesting question. What if we really did save those three little words to the person we want to ultimately marry? And what if the person you are with now, is great and amazing but you just aren’t sure about spending your life with him/her? Does that mean you can’t say “I love you” ?
I have been in love twice in my life. I have had great infatuations, wonderful lusts, terrific sex and memorable moments. But I have been ‘in love’…twice. Most people would say this makes me very lucky. Having said “I love you” to both men, I wonder if the person I am meant to be with deserves an “I love you.” If you feel like my stepdad, you would believe that it should only be said if he is Mr Right. If he is in fact my soul mate. But does the man before him deserve the same type of love, the same type of devotion, the same “I love you”?
One of the lessons I have come to value is the opinion of my parents. It’s something I have rolled my eyes at many times growing up, but one that still makes me smile when even I have to agree when they are right. Your homework tonight kids, is to talk to your parents and ask this simple loaded question “When should you say ‘I love you’ “? I think you will be amazed at the answers and I think you will learn a thing or two. Either way, turn off the tv, put down the cell phone and enjoy an evening with the people who made you who you are.