I get this question asked a lot. Should a man pay on the first date? To be honest, I am a bit back and forth on this subject. The Suzy Homemaker in me, says yes. HOWEVER, I do feel that if YOU are a gutsy gal like me and you ask the guy out, than by all means you should pay or at the very least, offer. The women who only feel that a man should pay for everything, kinda make me sick. And a little sad. Come on ladies, this isn’t the time of our mothers or grandmothers. We can’t say in one minute that we are strong independent women, then succumb to those old tales of yore.
But, I will say, there was this one time….
Ok, I am not proud to admit this, but I totally lied about my age to this guy. Not like, “Oh I am 25”, when I was really 29. Kinda like I was 16 and told him I was 21. I KNOWWWWWW! So bad. And to make matters worse…well, I won’t tell you how old he was. But I will say this, he sold cars for a living. As a matter of fact, he provided the best pick up I have ever encountered. While stopped at a traffic light, he made me roll down my window, told me I was cute, followed me through three more lights and then tossed his business card through my window.
For our first date, we met for coffee and a movie at the mall. Seriously, he should have guessed how old I was when I suggested meeting at the mall! But me being smart and safe, I had my best friend come to the mall and follow us, in case he was a serial killer or worse, a Mormon. We were going to be late for the movie if we had coffee, so we skipped forward to the film. While standing in line to get our tickets, it happened. I popped up to the counter and asked for two tickets for whatever funny chick flick was in at the time. “That’ll be $12” the woman behind the plexiglass said. See kids, there was a time when it didn’t require a small loan to go to the movies.
“Um, hun. I forgot my wallet” he said. I’m sorry, what? Now keep in mind, I am 16. This is my first “big girl” date and this has never happened in my oh so limited dating experience at this time. “You uh, forgot your wallet?” I said. “Yea, I think it’s at my place. We can go back there and get it.” If my grandmother was with me, she would have said RUNNNN. Lucky for me, I wasn’t stupid. “You know”, I said “I think if I head home now, I can try to cram for my Law final”. (College students studied law, right?)
I never saw him again, though he called several times for a “makeup date”. I am pretty sure I escaped an episode of “To Catch a Predator”, I am also sure it was my first and last “Sorry I lost my wallet” excuse. From then on I remembered what my mother said “Bring enough money to pay your way and most importantly, get yourself home…in case you need it” So ladies, if we have learned anything from this, remember, it’s ok to have him pay for the first date, it is NOT ok to think it will always happen. But if he opens his wallet, you should at the very least open….your own door 😉