The Kiss

I am in no way denying that I enjoy sex. Good sex, that is. There is in fact a very large difference between the two. And sadly I have had my fair share of bad and “Please get your clothes and leave” sex. But there is something that I enjoy a bit more than good, even bad sex. And that is, a kiss.

Now, when I say a kiss, there are several elements that make up a good kiss. I recently had the pleasure of realizing why I enjoy a good kiss because I in fact met, a great kisser. I know you may think that there are urban legends about such a person, and more importantly, some of you are under the ill conceived notion that you are in fact, a good kisser. (I can honestly say that I am a great kisser. I have references) But like Santa Claus, they do exist.

My kisser for the evening was a recent date that I had, and a little known type of fantasy guy for me, the nerdy guy. You mean you are cute, play football and a chemist? Um, yes please. On our first date we had the typical good night kiss. Kind of awkward at first. Do I go for the lip or the cheek? Tongue no tongue? Where do my hands go? How long should the kiss last? Should our hips meet? This internal dialogue went on for about .2 seconds because as soon as the kiss accord, I knew we made at match.

That’s right. Like dating, you have to have a kissing match. It is true to go out with someone and everything is right about them. But then you go in for the kiss. It’s messy, it’s sloppy, or too wet, or too soft or it feels like your teeth are being extracted. And then you sadly must accept, do you continue dating that person knowing that they are, dare I say it, a horrible kisser? I tell my girlfriends all the time, you can never really know if a guy is truly date worthy until you kiss him. And you can most definitely not know if he is relationship worthy until you sleep with him. Cold facts, but the truth. You don’t just buy a car without test driving it first.

But this guy, he and I were a good match. On date two, what I like to call the classic 4th grade date: games, cartoons, pizza and truth or dare, we had a second go round at the all important kiss. Sometimes I like to think that a good kiss on the first date might be a fluke. It could be the adrenaline building up or just performance anxiety. So imagine my surprise when the unthinkable happened. I think we kissed for a solid 5 mins straight. This does happen in real life and not just in The Brat Pack movies. The head tilt, perfect. Hand positioning, perfect. To tongue or not to tongue, not too slimy. The slight pause in between to catch your breath and of course to breathe, perfect. And then it moved into something unexpected, there was an eye gaze.

If you have never encountered an eye gaze during a very passionate kiss, allow me to explain. There comes a time where usually the dominate kisser will stop, pause, take your face into their hands and simply stare. In this stare you know at that moment one of two things. One: That this is in fact the hottest kiss you have had in a while. And Two: That if you continue on said course, one or both parties will end up naked. He stopped, paused, and gave me this gaze. In reality it only lasted about two seconds, if that. But at the moment it seemed like minutes. And he looked like a different person. My cute nerdy chemist, morphed into this hot, kissing God and I could do nothing but succumb to the kiss.

This all lasted for about 40 mins on and off during an intense game of Wii bowling. (BTW, I kicked his ass). And the best part, the kiss was not part of a rush to get into bed. Oh, no no. This was what we like to call, foreplay. Yea, I know. There are men that actually enjoy it. And shockingly are good at it. The best foreplay is all about the anticip……..ation. And that was exactly how it felt. The anticipation of something great. For all we cared, that kiss could have lasted all night, and we both would have been highly satisfied.

I pity people that have never had a real good kiss. The idea that a kiss could make you weak in the knees is true. It’s because for one moment, that kiss makes gravity seem insignificant. And all you have are two perfect lips having a conversation that two perfect bodies dare not have.

Table for One: The Break Up

I guess when it comes to dating, you have to look at what happens when it all goes south. I mean, we really do want to believe that you meet “The One”, you move into the perfect house and live happily ever after.  But let’s be real, fairly tales as history will tell you, usually come from a tragic beginning. So with that thought, sometimes, the end is the best way to start the beginning.

The fact that I can even say these words in the part of my life as today, is nothing short of a miracle. But it comes from one simple truth, and that is quite simply, we all deserve happiness. We all deserve a love that can make time stand still. Now that might be a bit romantic, but what we all deserve is to feel love. You should never feel or live in a state of compromise, of settling, or just getting by. The Break Up is the first step to getting to what is the best thing for both parties.

You have to look at it this way, you can sit and whine and cry and bitch and moan. But what does that get you? Do you think the other person is doing the same ? Should you even care? Does it change the end result? No. So what can you do? You can take a day, one day, to look at every side, cry, eat, drink, have random sex, then the next day, you move the fuck on. Ok. So this may be a bit harsh and slightly unrealistic. But here is the truth, the break up is not the end. It may be the end of this love, but there is another love to come.

I use to think at one point after a break up, I will never find a guy better than the last. The funny thing was, after every break up, the next guy was always better than the last. I learned not to make the same mistakes, and I found myself close and closer to being really happy. So if you failed or if he failed, just imagine how great the next guy will be? The Break Up is not a death sentence, it is just the end of one phase of your relationship life. It hurts like hell and time is the only healer, but with that time comes strength, wisdom and insight.

So enjoy being at that table of one. Drink the largest drink, eat the richest food, enjoy the greatest silence and clear your mind, your head and your heart. Then, start again and this time, you will be ready for your party of two.