The Brawny Man

The truth is, the infamous Brawny Man paper towel character was created completely in the mind of Marketing analysts and researchers. They came up with the character to appeal to the average housewife. The Brawny Man was strong, handsome, courageous, dependable and the perfect combination of what researchers thought women were lacking…a man who could do the job. In a paper towel since, mind you.

But who is this Brawny Man. I always thought that man should be the all around kind of man that every woman, in one way or another, dreams about. He is a sort of foundation to “The Bad Boy”, “The Hot Dad”, “The Best Friend”, etc. Without a good foundation, all of these men, just seem to be little boys. For me, The Brawny Man is simple. It’s the man with a great smell. The kind of smell where you think “Ummm. You smell like a man. And you smell damn good!”

He is the man who wraps you in his arms, and not only do you melt, but you feel safe. And not the kind of “Oh, I am being held. I feel safe”, kind of safe. But the “This man can hold me, and I honestly think if we were being mugged, he can pick me up and run.”, kind of safe. The Brawny Man also has chemistry. I mean, you have to have some carnal joy. Right? But this chemistry, is different from any other man. The Brawny Man is serious, without pretense, no games and pure heat. Not so much that you would be scared or freaked out, but just enough to know that when he kisses you, he means it.

For any of us, we find in situations, where we just need a MAN. Not someone to occupy our time, or someone just to have sex with, we need a MAN. Someone who lives up to the definition. Not just a “real man”, but the strength, the dependability, the security, the attractiveness, the man that you know that if you never leave the house, you are ok with just being held. And equally, the kind of man, who wants to do nothing more, but that. To provide for the many wishes of the average housewife and single girl, one spill at a time.

Mr Oh That’s So Cute

Ok, so this is the post that guys have been dreading, because it’s the size post. First, I will say this, size only matters when it comes to diamonds and leg room in First Class. However- in the bed room, size does have a, no pun intended, big factor.

The man in question had a crush on me for a little while, so we decided to go on a date. There was some sparks, some definite flirty-flirty, and it was nice. Getting back to his place he did the “Let me give you a massage” move. Note: You guys are so wrong for that. You know we melt every time. And of course, the move totally worked…let the makeout session begin. In truth he was a adorable, the total baby faced, sweet guy and I was smitten. So if the clothes came off, hey, it would be interesting to see what happens next.

As we make it to his room, the clothes magically disappeared and then it happened. Now I know I wear contacts, and it was late, my eyes might have been dry, but what I saw was real. The actual thought that went through my head was “Oh That’s So Cute”. I mean, it was like a cute little miniature surprise. It matched his cute personality, but it threw me off a bit. Now, what I have found in the past is that you should never judge. It has been this woman’s experience that men who may lack in size are experts in other areas. So as I chase out the internal laughs I got from Mr Oh That’s So Cute, we proceed…..

THREE MINUTES LATER….

He looks at me, somewhat sad and a little embarrassed. “Could we not tell anyone about this?”, he says. Are you serious? Not tell anyone? Not even my girls? I already had a mental list of the phone calls I was about to make. But I am a nice girl and I said nothing, until years later and until this post.

 I tell you all this sad tale for one reason and one reason only. Guys, if you know you are coming to the game a little short on practice and in gear, make sure you work on your conditioning and endurance. Now, let’s play ball!

Go out and Grab some balls!

Not what you think, I promise, but still very important…

I am always amazed at my girlfriends who tell me “I could never ask a guy out!” Really? Why not? What…are you still living in your grandmothers 1950’s fantasy of a house wife, Tupperware parties and trading the best meatloaf recipe?

I went out a few weeks ago with my gay. Note: Every self respecting woman, needs a gay. They love you no matter what, tell you, you look great when you don’t, and have the in on the best places to eat and drink. Any who, while out with my gay, I noticed the hot bartender. “I’m going to go give my number to the bartender.”, I say. “What?!”, replies my gay. Are you serious? He was shocked that I was being ballsy to ask a guy out? When did this happen that even the gays find it amazing that a woman was taking the dating bull by the horns?

I guess I can see where it is a bit daunting. There is the fear of rejection. Will he laugh in my face? Will he think I am being too forward, or worse off, desperate? Do I have food in my mouth? Will I say something stupid? Did I wear panties? Anything could go wrong. But you know what, it’s just talking to a stranger. You may never see this person again. Or you might even end up marrying them. But the fact still remains, it all starts off with one simple step.

So we as women expect guys to do this, but for some reason, we can’t get enough courage to make the first move. Well, I call shenanigans! Your challenge tonight is to go and talk to one complete stranger. Don’t go for the expectation of a relationship, go simply just to try something new. Who cares if he doesn’t get your number, or he does but never calls, or even ends up being gay. There is something said about being strong, smart, assertive and confident.

Now if you will excuse me, there is a pizza delivery boy that I simply must chat up!