There is nothing more dangerous than the male ego. So I shall put a warning to this post. If you think Mr Best is about you, you are probably wrong, because what made him Mr Best was the fact that he was so humble. Oh, and he was amazing, among other things.
So let’s be honest, there are times that we do things against our better judgement, as well as the better judgement of our friends. I did Mr Best against my better judgement. Not that he was such a bad guy. And not that several of my friends knew him. Simply that, I went into my “relationship” with Mr Best knowing it was only going to be the basic of all great sex, The-On-Again-Off-Again-In-Between-Relationships-Partner. Ok, Ok, I didn’t know that at the time, but that is what it turned out to be. It also turned out strangely, to be one of the most healthy male friendships I have ever had. Because Mr Best gave me what ever woman does NOT want: a completely honest, unabashed, brutally truthful look into the male mind.
If the book “He’s Just Not That Into You”, were a person, it were Mr Best. And what was so wonderful, was that he did not act like some macho pig out to educate me. Instead, he became like my sexual Mr Miagi and I ended up doing some crazy crane practice on a dock.( or mattress ) . Either way, what made him Mr Best was that I constantly learned from him. Not just about the things that men enjoyed, but the things that I enjoyed. It’s funny. We think we know what we like, what we enjoy, what really turns us on. But do we?
It’s not until you come across someone who challenges all of your theories and notions about love, sex and relationships that you realize, this is all a continual process. Kinda like when your kids are grown, you still learn something about parenthood. So other than being my Yoda, what made him so wonderful? Well, he was your average guy. Not some guy you would see and say “Whoa, I bet he is amazing in bed.” He was a guy I knew through friends, that I got to know better through school and work. Simply put, he was just That-Guy-I-Saw-Around-Town. And one night after some drinks, it happened.
Alright kids, this is where you want me to tell you that it was mind blowing and that I could not feel my toes. Well, I would be lying. It was good. I mean, it was just that, good. And it was maybe a few weeks before it happened again. Then the strangest thing occurred . The thing that we women sometimes secretly yearn for, but are too embarrassed to admit. One night after sex, we started to…talk. We talked about all the things that we didn’t understand about the opposite sex, all of our turn-ons and turn-offs, and then an even more amazing thing happened…he listened to me. But then there was a problem. I started dating someone. And because I believe in being fully invested in one person at a time, I had to sadly, let Mr Best go. But guess what? He understood! And he didn’t act weird about it!
In fact, he was the person I went to when I needed advice. He was my sounding board and I in turn, was his. When that relationship ended, we picked up where we left off. Now in the Harry met Sally world, this is where a tricky, complicated relationship would start, but it didn’t. He forced me to break out of my shell, to think outside of the box. To learn more about the whole process and not just the act. I mean, I thought I was ok before, but now I learned that it was more than just thinking how you perform, but it was equally about knowing and understanding your partner. In otherwords, I learned to grow up.
I owe a lot to Mr Best. I am sure I might even owe a Pulitzer to him. But I am grateful that the greatest lesson I learned about being a woman, I ended up learning from a man.